Being Afraid

In life everyone encounters the emotion, fear. Those who say they haven’t encountered this emotion fail to express the truth. Fear follows us throughout our whole lives. As it follows, it evolves into different forms and complexities. Children have simple fears, like being afraid of the dark or of ghosts. Adults have more complex fears, like the fear of rejection or the fear of not being able to succeed. When I was young, I was afraid of loud noises. Now that I am older, I am able to recognize a more complex fear. Ultimately, I am afraid of living life alone. 

Maybe, the complexity of this fear stems from my mother. My mother has had several long term relationships. My mom got a divorce from my father after I was born. She then, remarried and had my brother. Then divorced again and started dating a different man for several years. After that didn’t work out, she dated a few different men and is currently alone without a husband. All of these past relationships have ultimately lead to heartbreak and her ending up alone. I am afraid that I will follow in my mother’s footsteps and end up alone in life.

I’ve always dreamed of having a life straight-out of a fairy tale movie. I often dream of meeting my prince charming and its love at first site. We get married and have a gorgeous wedding on a beach sprinkled with white roses. We would move into a beautiful house, have four kids, and live happily ever after for the rest of our lives. I am afraid that this fairy tale fantasy may never become a reality and have developed the fear ending up alone.

Fear has two meanings, Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. I choose to face my fear and rise by learning from this obstacle. I am learning to be a strong and independent woman. A women that doesn’t need to relay on a man in life to feel complete or survive. I am learning ways to be comfortable and content with being alone. I am learning that being alone is a healthy part of life. I am learning how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

FEAR

We all face fear

Let me make this clear

This emotion is unpleasant

It is omnipresent

I’m afraid of being alone

I’m afraid I won’t make it on my own

I need someone by my side

who will accompany me on this crazy ride

lets kick this into high gear

 and lets conquer our fear

I will learn to be strong

I will learn from all I did wrong

I will learn to stand on my own 

I will positively encounter the unknown

In this case

I will

Face

Everything

And

Rise