I used to live in an old Victorian style
home with my family. The house seemed extremely ancient because every single step
you took it would creek. Let’s just say this house was a bit of a fixer upper.
The inside was extremely outdated and required a lot restoration work. Despite
the houses need for some updating, there was one aspect of the house that I
enjoyed. My favorite part of the house was the front porch. I can remember spending
summer nights siting on the porch, looking up at the stairs, and wondering
about world. It was a wooden porch that wrapped around half the house. The
porch was large enough to hold a decently sized table and four chairs. Even
though the house was an older style home we were able to make it our own.
One day, my family and I left our
house on an outing. Little did we know, while we were gone something devastating
happened. After our outing, we pulled onto our street and arrived at a hectic
scene. There were flashing lights and sirens blaring. Police, firetrucks and
ambulances were blocking the way to our house. To our surprise, all those
people were on the street because of our house had caught fire. The old electrical wires
had sparked a fire inside one of the walls. The whole front portion of the house was burnt, including part
of my precious porch. In addition to the fire affecting the porch, a wall to
the living room and a portion of the above bedroom was destroyed. All of our
belongings in those two rooms were also ruined. The day of the fire, we were in
a state of shock. We never thought we could become victims of a fire. We felt deeply saddened and at a loss for words. We didn't know what direction to turn to. Lucky, know one got hurt or was home during the unfortunate mishap. Despite
the devastating circumstances of the fire, the situation transformed into a
blessing in disguise.
All of the damages the house received from the fire were far too expensive to be fixed. Instead, we decided to take the insurance money
for the house. Before the fire, the house was already a gigantic money pit because of how old it was. It was far too expensive to be fixed up and in that
condition it was impossible to sell. We were stuck in a difficult situation.
After the fire occurred, we realized it was a blessing in disguise. The fire
actually gave us an opportunity to move into a brand new condo. The condo has
various amenities and is in the perfect location. I even have a balcony, so I can continue to gaze up at the stars. Even though the fire was an apparent misfortune,
it eventually lead to good results.
I'd like to dedicate this poem to the book "The Alchemist" By Paulo Coelho
I am The Alchemist
There's a great power
This power exists among us
Many people on this earth have acquired the ability
to harness this power
Others are among the less fortunate
These are the ones who fail to acknowledge or understand
That this gift is possible
Some aren't aware that this mechanical energy exists
I have discovered this mighty force
I have obtained the capacity to transform
each passing state of affair into gold
It does not matter
If these situations
appear in the nature of good or evil
I am able to freeze time
Take a step back
And use my compelling energy
I am able to view each affair with positivity
Beholding only the golden opportunities within
And that await in the future
There's a great power
This power exists among us
Many people on this earth have acquired the ability
to harness this power
Others are among the less fortunate
These are the ones who fail to acknowledge or understand
That this gift is possible
Some aren't aware that this mechanical energy exists
I have discovered this mighty force
I have obtained the capacity to transform
each passing state of affair into gold
It does not matter
If these situations
appear in the nature of good or evil
I am able to freeze time
Take a step back
And use my compelling energy
I am able to view each affair with positivity
Beholding only the golden opportunities within
And that await in the future
Emily,
ReplyDeleteGood post. Your story is very real and very well-told. I felt that the imagery that you selected and the pace of your story really drew the reader into the setting. I felt there on that crowded street, and could smell the dust of that old Victorian.
Great story. I think that this is a prime example of a situation that you came to realize was a blessing in disguise. I would suggest strengthening your final paragraph - just to further emphasize how important your new state of being is... how you and your family are actually better off now... how, without this fire, things would have been different. You really want to "sell" this in your final paragraph/reflection/conclusion. Think of how you can beef this paragraph up a bit.
Your poem is solid - very affirmative and empowering in its tone. I like the angle that you took - about having this power to alchemize. Your lines are very tight and well-controlled. Your writing very literal and instructional. I would like to challenge you to write some more lines or couplets that go into the abstract. Let loose a little bit now, so that the language takes over and the ideas become secondary to the art of the flow. This may mean less "meaning", but it may actually create more meaning through the mystery. Sort of how a fire can actually create beauty.
Try next time.
Overall, this is good, but it must be submitted on time. Here, you posted on Wed when it was due on Sun. That's two weeks in a row. Next week, if it's late, I cannot accept it.
GR: 75 (late)